Published in The Startup·Apr 3, 2020Member-onlyWhat I Saw at the Fitness RevolutionIt’s possible to be in love with an idea. To believe in something so much that it consumes all time, energy and even relationships. Leaves us with a sliver of airspace at the end of the day in which we don’t think about it. In which we sit on a…Peloton25 min read
Published in Human Parts·Feb 6, 2020Member-onlyWork-Life ImbalanceDispatches from the final 2 to 20 days without a baby — I’ll have lived a hundred years before becoming a mother, and after becoming one, none of them will have mattered. Women keep warning me of a feeling I can’t imagine ever having: monotony, feeling trapped, craving more time with grown-ups, missing work and the validation of a career. My ignorant…Work7 min read
Published in Human Parts·Nov 20, 2019Member-onlyEverything Without DrinkingLearning to mark time in sobriety — It is not a question of missing the shenanigans, but of what’s going to come and take their place. The day starts with an observance of the bells and whistles of the straight and narrow: presence, awareness, renewed interest in ordinary and sometimes boring things, productivity, waking up without a…Sobriety7 min read
Oct 26, 2019Member-onlyIn Cars With BoysOne bird on the lawn and just as quickly, two. Two for joy, as someone else must be there to witness or dream up the feeling. But this is not the whole story. It’s a rhyme gone so rote in our minds that we don’t question how it sounds there…Life Lessons7 min read
Published in Human Parts·Sep 20, 2019Member-onlyOn Mothering the SelfIf only the people-pleaser in me could learn to please me — Walking to the car it seemed important to decide whether we’re ascending or descending. Whether this is a striving toward lightness or a leaving behind of lightness into something sturdy and profound. On this walk of 20 yards I see judgment and insecurity (aren’t they one and the same) for…Motherhood10 min read
Oct 21, 2016A PoemI have a new poem up at The Awl today. It’s called “Canopy,” and it’s about love and global warming (what a pair they make). For more of my poems, you can visit my poetry-only Tumblr enterprise,No More Tangles.Poetry1 min read
Mar 31, 201651.There is a ritual of imagining running into you on a city street, looking up at you, though we are the same height, fingers at the ledge of the cheekbones. It’s the way my grandmother would take people in. This thought is like touching a talisman, a checking-in, almost a…Death1 min read
Mar 30, 201650.A smile rising like a moon at the horizon, behind the shadow of someone else’s head, the color of buttermilk. Me practicing unselfconsciousness behind a pillar. I won’t share what was said, and like most great stories and great jokes, I can’t remember, I blacked out, my brain seized up…Life1 min read
Mar 29, 201649.How will the warm days play out? For now there’s like a secret gathering, of a young pack with looser borders. Very loose. It just looks off limits. Everyone is invited to gather around the warm, but we don’t. There is something to lose there, it seems, rather than something…Life1 min read
Mar 26, 201646.Physical feelings are shallow shoveling. Even the feeling of running, a mostly-good feeling (it too can be abused, of course), is shallow. It’s the work around it that makes it deeper. Do people like to run longer distances because they equate the time out there with more profound reflection, deeper…Love2 min read